Everything has it's beauty, but not everyone sees it. - Confucius
Sometimes the picture doesn't have to be perfect; it's the captured moment that counts. - me
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Monday, 19 October 2009

a break


Right now I wish I was a bird, and could fly away from everything.

We all have good days, and bad days. The bad days are lifted for me usually by my love of birds, and to just watch them. They give me the kick up the backside I need at times. To get out, and just watch. But sometimes it takes more than a kick. Sometimes the little things that go wrong in life, just keep multiplying, and seem to come to a head.

Things that should be easy, become difficult.
The constant problems at work, that can usually be shrugged off, just eventually wear you down. Time to do the things you want, doesn’t seem to be there anymore.
Little things get neglected; then grow into monsters that seem uncontrollable.
And memories gnaw away, and you begin to slowly collapse from it all from the inside.

I had a pretty good weekend, out with the camera, took loads of pictures and met some nice people. We talked birds, photography; and then I came home, and the same old crap was still here. The blues are here. I’ll get over it. It happens. Things go wrong in other people’s lives, and they cope. Worse things than I have to worry about.
I’m not other people.

Forty five years ago, this coming weekend, my dad died of cancer. I was just a kid, enjoying life. I was on holiday at a friends in Ireland; and when I came back, he died. I didn’t even know he was ill. Didn’t know he was dying. No one told me, till I got back, and saw him in a hospital bed, weak………….

Some things you never get over; time’s a great healer they say, and it’s usually true.
You move on in life, but you never forget.

I might not be about so much this coming week. Apologies for that. I need to get some order in my life, and scrape myself off the floor. I need to colour these blues a different colour.
This little bird has far more problems to face in his short life, than I ever had.

I just gotta learn to hang on, like him.

27 comments:

  1. Hope you find the strength required Keith. Too good a human to start getting out of the chaos that is life. All the very best.

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  2. Hi Keith,
    Sorry for the dark period you are going through right now... I wish you the best and my heart is with you!
    Best,
    Chris.

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  3. Hi Keith, there is something to make us feel down, but, look forward in life, the happiness, that is nature.

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  4. I think the strongest persons in the world are the ones who never forget...

    All the best for you, Keith

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  5. I know just how you're feeling, but for different reasons. Keep a tight grip on what really matters & the 'blues' will change for the better. FAB.

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  6. Hi Keith. I know how you feel. I start 'going down' this time of year. My mother died, also of cancer, on 5th November many years ago. Every year I get the 'blues' about this time without even thinking about her. It seems to be one of those body rhythms connected with a big loss in life. Being a time when days can be so dull and daylight is getting shorten doesn't help either.

    You don't have to worry about not actively blogging for a while. It is only a hobby / pass-time - a great one but still not a life essential. Take your time, keep ticking over and we will all look forward to your return and the pleasure your wildlife photos and descriptions bring with each new entry.

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  7. Aww hon..I'm so sorry!! Take the time you need and breathe!! I lost my parents too.but not like that I had closure. But I know having my girls taken away will never leave them or me ...all the pain. Even though they are back it will haunt us all. I so sorry you lost him that way. Sending gentle hugs your way and know I'm here for you!! Namaste, Sarah

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  8. A truly great image Keith.

    I shall miss your comments and hope whatever you decide to do will help you to get back to where you wish to be. Remember you have a whole host of friends out here and I am sure they will all be wishing you well.

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  9. Sorry to see you down Keith. Hope your spirits lift again soon.

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  10. Hi Keith, Sorry to read that you are having a tough time at the moment, and wishing that things pick up again soon, Rob

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  11. hope things get better for you. we all have the bad weeks. I was having a stressful week last week. better now. hope the sun starts shinning in on you soon.

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  12. The blues. It is good to get the blues now and then because you just can't have the ups without the downs. How would you they were ups with nothing to compare them to? So take the time you need to wallow in your blues; don't ignore them - give them the attention they deserve. Just make sure that you come out from under them in due time.

    Quite a coincidence - earlier last week was the 35th anniversary of my father's death. I was a bit older than you were when your dad died, but I had still been fairly clueless regarding the severity of his illness. It does bring you up sharp when these aniversaries come along.

    best regards,
    Wilma

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  13. Its a "Purple patch' Keith.
    I had a similar experience as you did Keith. My father died when I was 8 years old. It does take its toll, as a result of the shock I cannot remember anything prior to that time, so it does have an effect. You do need hobbies to de-stress when you are working and for keeping active when you are retired. Birds and photography of the countryside are a great way to achieve this.

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  14. Hope you find your paint pot to bring in a new colour very soon.....(((Keith)))


    and when you've finished with it....

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  15. ...Keith...I just read this post. I'm so sorry....take your time to heal and rest....

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  16. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling blue - I will be sending good thoughts & best wishes your way!

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  17. I'm so sorry you are feeling below par Keith, it is a horrible feeling and I think one which creeps up more easily at this time of year with the dull shorter days.

    'Little things get neglected; then grow into monsters that seem uncontrollable.'.... Oh how much I identify with that! I think some people do cope better but we sensitive souls find life more difficult and unfortunately there isn't much we can do about that I fear...life can be a constant battle for some!

    Much of my childhood was spent with my Dad, whom I adored, suffering from very serious illnesses and my mum cracking under the strain...it does have a lasting effect Keith and haunts us more when we are in a vulnerable state. Take heart, you are not alone, I and all your blogland friends will be thinking of you and wishing you well and hoping you feel much better soon.

    I fear the poor Goldfinch has no chance, unfortunately I have seen them like that here...so distressing.

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  18. I'm stuck for words.
    Thank you to everyone for your comments and good wishes. It really means a lot right now.
    So many good people. Thank you.

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  19. Take care friend. I share in your sadness. Just this weekend I was reminded of my Dad that passed 10 years ago from cancer as well. Moving a bookcase he had built, on the back was an inscription. All those memories came rushing back and I felt the sadness anew.
    Blog-world is a wonderful place to visit and is always here when ever we're ready to stop by.

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  20. Keith, I could say so much. I missed this post when you put it up, as I've been so busy. Typical! I know how you feel and I'm not just saying that. I've had some very low points in my life, and they started at a young age, but you have to get a grip at some point. You CANNOT allow the past to control the future, and if I ever feel like slipping I tell myself it's in the past and there are people so much worse off and suffering now. Now get out there and take some nice pictures for us - please. I am sure that's what your Dad would want x

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  21. Hi Keith,

    I'm sorry you are feeling this way. That must have been very difficult, losing your father that way. I am so sorry.

    Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Hugs,
    Jen

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  22. Go carefully, Keith, ride each wave one at a time. No rush, no sweat. You'll get there. Sending my very best wishes.

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  23. Keith, I know that feeling so well...its never easy to always up and cheerful--sometimes life takes a bigger bite than we have the strength to fight--When something throws me off balance my goal is to get back to center as quick as possible but it takes as long as it takes...I, like you, lost my dad early in life--and like you I was not told why he was ill or why he was dying at the young age of 53! So like you I have a lot of unresolved issues radiating from that. My wish for you is to recapture your positive energy, resolve some of the problems, and fill up those empty spots with wonderful memories of happier times. Until then I will continue to be enchanted with your talent.

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  24. holdingmoments, just as I got up on my feet, you are leaving, lol. Hey take all the time you need, we be here. Just stay positive, it really helps. Wishing you all the best, and sorry to hear you have to go through a tough times. Anna :)

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  25. I'm sure you have enough strength to resolve any problem. A good photographer is good at art, and an artist always has ways to sort things out :)

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  26. Thank you everyone for your thoughts.

    I'm getting there, at last. Work shortly, but I'll get round to everyone very soon. I've really missed not being on here.

    Seems the 'avatars' have gone awol in the comments box for some reason. Oh well.

    A big thank you again.

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